is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
