My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize