"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
