Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
