I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
