theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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