That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
