Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
