And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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