before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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