guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
