you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
