If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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