party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
