he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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