halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize