Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
