Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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