I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
