yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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