i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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