why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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