didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize