He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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