i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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