Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
