Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
