She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
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It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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