dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon