Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him