So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the condom got lost in my hair
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.