I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wish drunk me came with subtitles