I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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