dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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