...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I understand Curling. That high.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
