That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
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