well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
