Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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