So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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