I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
