moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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