if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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