We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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