It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
