i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize