i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize