when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
