Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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