Dude my mom stole all your condoms
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize