dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
