I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize