I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize