she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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